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The Family Therapist is In
Off to College
October, 2005 - Issue #12
Future college freshmen are shopping for clothes and supplies like everyone else, but they're also shopping for luggage and laptops and taking down the posters from their room... As parents, how do you know that you've prepared them well enough for life? In the middle of pondering that very question, I came across and reread my son's college entrance essay. I'm so proud of him. Take heart moms and dads, you've taught them well. They will be fine in this brave new world they're off to conquer!

In celebration of going back to school, I've decided to share my son Zack's essay that moved me so much. Here it is:

"Believe 2004." "Centurions like this winning thing." "Centurions remain grounded." "Step it up and do it with dignity." "You have to start somewhere." "Centurions fight for and get the victory." "Fundamentals will propel us to success."

These quotes are newspaper headings from the Santa Clarita Signal referring to my high school football team during our last season. The 2004 season changed the direction of the Saugus football program. After four years of losing, four years of revolving coaches and players dropping out faster then they were signing up, Saugus finally signed-on a new head coach who was willing to believe in his players. He taught us to believe in ourselves and what we could do if we started with the fundamentals. These are the same core fundamental beliefs that my parents have taught me all my life; live your faith, work hard, be consistent, have integrity, care about others, watch who you follow.

Because of these beliefs and how I've learned to apply them in all I do (relationships, academics, sports), I understand what it takes to build responsibility and I'm not afraid to search for excellence. Some day I would like to share that experience with other kids. I could see that opportunity happening for me through youth sports. Since football's been in my life for as long as I can remember, if I could volunteer for any organization, it would be with my town's youth football program, the Santa Clarita Athletic Association Warrior football program.

I played Warrior ball in elementary school and junior high school and my dad was my head coach. To help kids learn the fundamentals of football, of teamwork, of leadership - what a great way to give back all the life skills that were shared with me.

I watched my dad all those years and know that he truly believed in us as individuals. He also believed in us as a team, and we were bad, but when someone believes you have what it takes, it changes how you see yourself. I want to make that kind of a difference in the lives of kids.

I also watched my dad have fun! He taught all of us how to enjoy ourselves. No matter who we played, he wanted us to have fun on the field. As coach Lou Holtz once said: "We didn't go out and try to win a national championship, we went out and tried to be the best we could be." That was the attitude my dad shared with all of us. Having that experience with him was amazing, something I'll cherish forever.

Lou Holtz talks about in his book, "Winning Every Day," to have the right attitude, tackle adversity, have a sense of purpose, understand sacrifice, adapt or die, chase your dream, believe in yourself, foster trust, commit to excellence, and treat others as you would like to be treated. Not easy steps to follow; in fact they are often accompanied by really tough life choices.

I realize everything that happens to me is a result of the choices I make. My parents always say that your character shows in your ability to do the right thing for the right reason, no matter who's around or what the circumstance is. I think that someday volunteering as a youth football coach will give me the chance to share those beliefs and maybe make a difference in the life of a child.

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Kim Schafer welcomes questions or comments. E-mail her at kschafer@insidescv.com.
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