Santa Clarita needs a little help. (A lot, some might say.) While the city is quite adept at wooing business, building parks and fixing potholes, it cannot do everything. To accomplish the really big stuff, Santa Clarita usually relies on the federal government. Federal grants for road and bridge building support our infrastructure and we lean on Congressman Buck McKeon to pass legislation protecting the local environment from various and sundry mega-mining companies (or at least promising to try and protect us from said companies). But just because we don't hand out million-dollar grants and don't have an office in Washington D.C. doesn't mean Santa Clarita doesn't need our help. Our votes and participation are being sought now more than ever.




No Grabbing
Santa Clarita needs some help against two money-grubbing bullies. The first bully is the Regional Water Quality Control Board. These masters of effluent, gunk and sewage have told Santa Clarita to build a water treatment facility for $210 million, but provided the scantest of scientific justification. The City Council, The Signal, KHTS and most local activists oppose a proposal to pay for the facility with sanitation fee hikes. A Prop 218 protest form was mailed out, but even this may not help. The LA Sanitation District has said that if a majority protest against the fee hikes, ratepayers could face "significant fines and penalties, and potentially a much more expensive project than what is currently recommended." So is it more helpful to accept the unjust rate increase or to protest them and risk a bigger punishment? I'm afraid no one knows.

The other bully we're facing right now is the state of California. Remember that in a fight, you're a Santa Claritan first, a Californian second. Thus, you should be outraged that the state has been trying to balance its budget by taking millions from the coffers of Santa Clarita and other cities. Mayor Pro-Tem Marsha McLean has worked tirelessly with the League of California Cities to get a ballot measure that would forbid the state from taking money that belongs to cities. Now, she needs your help to pass the measure come November.

Help Believe
Few things are sadder than an unattended event. The city can plan, advertise and host, but it's entirely up to us to help make the event a hit or a miss. All we have to do is show up. By that measure, this summer has been a success with "dive-in" movies at the pool, day camps and trips on the Beach Bus. The last hurrah is the Concert in the Park on August 28. Don't Stop Believin', a Journey tribute band, will be
performing. But children, the primary excuse adults use to justify attending outdoor public events, probably don't even like Journey, negating the need to attend.

I beg to differ by way of a syllogism. Major Premise: today's youths like Glee. Minor Premise: Glee was all over Journey's music. Conclusion: today's youths like Journey music, and you are to bring the entire family to the last Concert in the Park. Last year, some 10,000 Claritans turned out for the show - more than twice the number of people who visited a polling place during our last local election.

That kind of attendance helps the city justify putting on more great concerts in the future. If you prefer something a little less early '80s, though, the Keyes Lexus of Valencia Jazz & Blues concerts will be held every Friday night through August 27. Good music and poor dancing are assured at both venues.

Bubbly Art Wanted
Not every town has an arts commission, public art displays or an outstanding art institution; we have all three. But the art coming from City Hall tends to be the same old aerial survey photographs and colorful pamphlets about how to license your frozen yogurt shop. Thus, the Arts Commission is seeking the help of local artists to fill our valley with more inspiring creations. Acting in the role of patron, the commission recently issued a call for artwork that makes use of bubble wrap. The best entries will be selected in August and displayed from September to December at the Westfield Valencia Town Center. The exhibit is to be called "Bubble-icious: Not All Bubbles are Created Equal," a title for which the Commission for Awful Names deserves much credit.

The Arts Commission says that they chose to feature bubble wrap because 2010 marks the 50-year anniversary of its creation. There are clear thematic ties between Santa Clarita and the synthetic packing material as well. Santa Clarita, like bubble wrap, protects her precious cargo (us) from the outside world, but in so doing tends to smother that cargo (again, us). She confines while she cushions, stifles while she safeguards. It's just the way things are in Santa Clarita, and it's a way of life that plenty
of people heart and look to protect by helping the SCV stay on course.
This column is intended as satire and a (sometimes successful) attempt at humor. Suggestions, catty comments and veiled threats intended for the author can be e-mailed to iheartscv@insidescv.com.