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Aiming to Please
June, 2011 - Issue #80
The City of Santa Clarita is in the business of pleasing people. Pleased people make better residents - they're neighborly, don't commit crimes and choose to re-elect incumbents at local elections. When things are going well, when we're pleased with our lives, we don't rock the boat.

Santa Claritans are surprisingly simple to win over. It takes food and passive entertainment. In the past months we've had cupcake wars to see which bakery would serve the Amgen Tour of California; there's popcorn with free summer movies on the way; and food trucks are practically required for any event now. They can be an event in and of themselves - eat while watching others eat, the logical conclusion to this quest for satisfaction. At his or her core, a Claritan really just wants something to eat and something to watch. The Romans were right. It's panem et circenses - bread and circuses - to keep us complacent.

Enhanced?
The library is near the bottom of most Claritans' lists of entertainment options. Opening day events are near the top. By the rules of averaging, then, an opening day event for libraries is right in the middle. That's what we have in store on July 1, when LSSI, Inc., takes over local library operations from the County of Los Angeles. The heated battle between public and private library operation put Santa Clarita in the national news, and everyone knows that the libraries need to live up to the hype when LSSI starts their term.

Toward this end, there was a loan of $1,348,000 from the General Fund to the Public Library Fund for opening day "enhancements." It's like Botox before a big premiere. Included are $150,000 for current popular titles, $100,000 in DVDs and $25,000 for signs, advertising and opening day events. This ensures there will be well-stocked shelves, perfect for an opening day photo: brightly-colored book spines form the backdrop against which an animated librarian enchants children with story-time.

Even for those skeptical of the transition, there's good news in that the city won't be collecting a special tax to support the local libraries, as had been discussed. Just add opening day snacks to the showcase and it's likely to be a warm reception.

Summering
The first day of summer is June 21, with an exhausting 14 hours and 26 minutes of daylight from sunrise to sunset. That much mood-enhancing light and Vitamin D production makes Claritans easier to please. Well, it would if there weren't the counterweights of keeping kids busy while off from school and trying to eke out vacation time to actually enjoy said sunshine.

This is why in-town recreation becomes essential. With kids, it's something to eat and something to do, so summer camps and ball games and Six Flags are natural options for parents. As discussed, adults are easier to please with just something to eat and something to watch, and all around town events pop up to make sure that no one is left wanting. Perennial summer favorites include the Keyes Lexus of Valencia Jazz & Blues concerts at Town Center and Concerts in Central Park. They're at 7 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, respectively.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't make my annual appeal to attend the Fourth of July Parade, this year celebrating Women's Centennial Right to Vote in California (perhaps a more concise theme would have been better?). There's food - Santa Clarita Rotary Club's pancake breakfast - and spectacle, in the form of modest floats ridden by modestly-enthusiastic persons. What more could you want?

10 Percent
Pleasing Santa Claritans may be simple, but the city council works hard at it. The constant strain of hacking through grand-opening ribbons, sitting in moderately-comfortable chairs and doing what the city manager instructs them to do begins to take its toll. This is why the council members are compensated to the tune of $1571.67 per month. This May, they voted for a raise of 10 percent effective for the term beginning in 2012. Now they did demonstrate some restraint by taking a 10 percent raise over an allowed 20 percent, and Bob Keller and Laurie Ender voted against the raise at all. Councilmember Frank Ferry said it was more about breaking even than earning money, noting that mileage adds up (though he'd have to drive at least 4,000 miles a month on city business to exhaust his salary on fuel).

Still, the idea of being responsible for one's own raise still seems a little...questionable. But for better or worse, the city council generally operates with the public's silent blessing. The local election we're ramping up for will be as poorly participated in as always, and the two incumbents will likely enjoy re-election. Most people have come to heart the Santa Clarita that they help govern, so expect more of the same. They aim to please.
This column is intended as satire and a (sometimes successful) attempt at humor. Suggestions, catty comments and veiled threats intended for the author can be e-mailed to iheartscv@insidescv.com.
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