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We, the Watched
September, 2011 - Issue #83
When Apple opened a store at The Patios this July, it was greeted by literally hundreds of adoring fans and customers. People were eager to browse iPhones; the big iPhones, called iPads; or the iPhones that do everything but make calls, called iPods. But mostly, they were just there to geek out with fellow Apple devotees. And it's not just a morning spent waiting in line and hard-earned cash that people are willing to give up to Apple. In the Wall Street Journal's menacingly titled "What They Know" series, journalists describe how frequently and precisely location data is collected by companies like Microsoft, Google, and yes, even Apple. More of us than ever have a device in purse or pocket we use to broker the exchange of personal information. It's unsettling in the abstract, but in practice, we all seem pretty willing to trade our stats and whereabouts for shiny, interactive baubles.

Our notions of privacy and discretion are being questioned, debated, legally defined and re-defined. How, we're being forced to decided, do we feel about being watched?

Red Lights Get Green Light
When you're making a left-hand turn at the intersection of McBean and Valencia Boulevard, there is this anxious moment as you approach the limit line. It's all those terrifying red-light cameras beaming their unblinking eyes down on you, waiting for a mistake. Is the light going to turn yellow? If so, how long does it stay yellow? How much of your car has to be over the line at the instant yellow turns to red? And if you stop just to be safe, will you get rear-ended by the jerk behind you who probably thinks you're going to go for the turn? All of these calculations have to be made in a split-second so that brain can tell foot whether it's break, gas or gun it.

Recently, the L.A. City Council voted 13 to zero to eliminate them and the citations that can exceed $500, but Santa Clarita officials say intersections with cameras have seen fewer broad-side accidents and are, therefore, working. There was a big question over whether the citations were even enforceable, but that question hasn't received the same attention in Santa Clarita as it did in Los Angeles. So for now, plan on getting your picture taken if you run a red.

Precious Metal
Our social contract says that we give up some freedom and privacy for security and order. Just think of the modern shopping experience: being subject to a bit of video surveillance encourages would-be criminals to think twice about stealing...or so one would think. But several women reported having their bags stolen when left in a shopping cart, unattended. The thefts occurred at department and grocery stores, and they appear to be symptomatic of a larger trend of opportunistic theft.

Brass funeral urns, copper wire from large electrical installations and even the brass train whistle from the locomotive kept by the SCV Historical Society have been stolen by thieves selling scrap metal. The most lucrative option in metallic larceny, though, appears to be catalytic converters, which are being taken from cars on the street. So many have been snatched that there is a focused investigation to track down the parties who are purchasing the purloined car parts. And if purses and metal weren't enough to keep the lawless busy, even the Santa Clarita Repertory Theater suffered a loss - wine and snacks were stolen before a Shakespeare in the Park Performance. If it's not bolted down or under watch, don't count on hanging onto it for long.

Eye in the Sky
I didn't go to Catholic School, but I know from my dad's experience that nuns can spot trouble a mile away, trouble to be snuffed out with a brisk slap of ruler against knuckles (at least in the good old days). Imagine, then, being watched by five nuns and a pastor. The city council found itself in this unenviable position some weeks ago. They were from Queen of Angels Catholic Church in Newhall and they were not appreciative of the city's eyeing of their property for historic designation. It's a problem that still hasn't been resolved: How can historic buildings be preserved without adversely affecting the rights of property owners and harming their property values?

Ultimately, the city attorney clarified that religious institutions were exempt from having to be listed, so Queen of Angels will be able to paint or install new windows or update their building without fear of breaking a historic preservation ordinance. By a miracle of state code, we avoided a fight between Santa Clarita and God's earthly messengers. The resolution of this
matter tells us something about how we can play the watching game without losing the Santa Clarita we heart. As we're watched more closely than ever, it's up to us to watch back.
This column is intended as satire and a (sometimes successful) attempt at humor. Suggestions, catty comments and veiled threats intended for the author can be e-mailed to iheartscv@insidescv.com.
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