In Santa Clarita, the line between real life horror and imaginary nightmares can be blurry. Take Propstore, which lists an address on Harrison Parkway in Valencia as its "Los Angeles office" (not quite sure that's LA proper, but I digress.). They've been auctioning off some unique horror movie treasures throughout the year. In an auction this fall, lots included prop weapons from the "Alien" franchise, "Ghostbusters" memorabilia and art from "Evil Dead II." There was even Walter White's underwear from "Breaking Bad" - scary for reasons all its own. You can be assured that while the props and the scares they elicit are real, their movies were works of fiction. Elsewhere in the news, drawing that line can be trickier.
The Blob
Redrawing squiggles on a map wouldn't make for a particularly compelling horror film, but that very threat is creating nightmares for plenty of politically-minded Claritans. The blob that is Santa Clarita's 27th Congressional District could be redrawn as part of an overall scheme to secure more Democratic seats in Congress. That's ostensibly a response to the Texas scheme to secure more Republican seats in Congress via re-districting. Real political power is at stake in this game of gerrymandering one-upmanship.
Right now, the 27th District, represented by Democratic Representative George Whitesides, is largely the Santa Clarita and Antelope Valleys. Under the new plan, western Santa Clarita would be lumped with part of the Antelope Valley and a narrow chunk of the San Fernando Valley stretching down to Victory Boulevard. According to Politico, strategists believe that would change the 27th from lean Democratic to safe Democratic. Placerita Canyon would become a tiny conservative blip in the reliably Democratic 30th among communities like Burbank and Hollywood. If the redistricting plan is adopted, Santa Clarita will be more divided. Whether you consider this political future scary or satisfying will shape how you vote in November.
Time to Burn
Has the world grown weary of us? That might not be an emotional state that a planet can reach, but the fear of Earth leashing out at us with natural disasters sometimes seems more than just imagined. This summer got off to a fiery start with blazes on the outskirts of Santa Clarita consuming thousands of acres. And it's hard to believe that the Palisades and Eaton fires were ripping through Los Angeles less than a year ago, causing billions of dollars in damage. The threat of wildfire is nearly constant.
The natural disaster I'm more concerned about, however, is earthquakes. The Kamchatka Earthquake of 2025 was the sixth largest quake ever recorded by seismometers. And we're connected - Kamchatka sits on the western side of the Pacific tectonic plate, and we're next to the eastern side of the very same plate. The LA Times reported that the earthquake sent a 1.2 foot tall mini-tsunami all the way to Santa Monica this summer. Since then, there have been many earthquakes magnitude 5 and greater near Russia, Alaska and elsewhere in the Pacific. Earthquakes are famously unpredictable, but the threat is never imaginary.
Scary Candy
Halloween began in earnest when the corpses of some of our former Toys "R" Us, Party City and Rite Aid stores became possessed by Spirit Halloween. As the fateful day draws near, there will be no shortage of activities in Santa Clarita, especially because Halloween is on a Friday this year. That hasn't happened since 2014. The unbounded opportunities will wreak havoc on families with little kids and young-enough-to-still-be-fun parents: take the kids trick-or-treating early, pay an outrageous premium for a Halloween sitter, go out all night in a Travis + Taylor couples costume and rehydrate the rest of the weekend.
One reliable tradition, Fright Fest at Six Flags Magic Mountain, will be running for over six weeks this year. That provides plenty of time to go before a packed Halloween weekend. Several of the haunted mazes this year are being sponsored by candy brands, like "Carnage," presented by M&M's and "Condemned: Forever Damned," presented by Snickers. (I'm filing that under "sentences I never dreamed I'd write."). Corny? Perhaps. But if you heart the SCV and spooky season, the chance to celebrate both together is the stuff of dreams, not nightmares.
This column is intended as satire and a (sometimes successful) attempt at humor. Suggestions and catty comments intended for the author can be e-mailed to iheartscv@insidescv.com.