Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?
True Love Starts with Yourself
February, 2006 - Issue #16
"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, so are you." Is this really love? Valentine's Day is allegedly the most romantic holiday. It seems that so many people have become wrapped up in the giving and receiving of gifts rather than giving real love.

As a life coach I have seen that, regardless of the season, people make decisions based in love or fear. In love, they are coming from a place where their heart is filled with abundance, grounded, and able to risk being transparent with themselves and others. If not, they are defensive, always on guard, and ever concerned with what others are saying and doing (notice the exterior focus).

It is only when we are
deeply connected to our
own hearts that we feel
most alive.
The focus you want to be actively involved with is interior; you connecting directly with your heart. Ask yourself some honest questions like: "Am I accepting myself so I can accept others?" and, "Am I honoring my values so I can value others and what is important to them?" These questions will lead you to discoveries and new learning about yourself.

The old English the word for love is "freon" from which the word "friend" is derived. The structure of the language implies that love and friendship are freeing. We must empower those we love to become their best according to their own wants, values and desired outcomes for their lives. The essential contribution of love is clear: Your love must empower those you love to love themselves.

Our hearts have been expressly planned, created and endowed with different strengths. They are capable of receiving, giving and enjoying love. It is only when we are deeply connected to our own hearts that we feel most alive. What would your life be like led by that kind of heart connection?

I am convinced that we are meant to live at peace with ourselves, and that in our hearts, there is opportunity for life and celebration. Everyone is born with a unique and unconditional value. The question is, how can we learn to love ourselves and ultimately give that gift to others?

True love of others starts with true love of oneself - your own heart is a great place to begin your love connection.


Terri Lee Cadiente is a life coach and motivational strategist. E-mail questions or comments to her at
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