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Ann on Aging
How do You Say "Metamucil" in Italian?
February, 2007 - Issue #28
What a difference between my first trip to "the continent" 16 years ago and my trip to Italy a few months ago. Alas, I'm getting older; at least that's what my body tells me when it fails to regulate itself and I am forced to go in search of a farmacia to remedy the problem. I guess I thought I would have the same energy as days gone by and certainly had a rude awakening. There I was, an antiquity among antiquities.

I brought along my strapping 6-foot-5-inch son Matthew purportedly for his 22nd birthday present, but there was a method in my madness. I needed help with my bags and getting from place to place. I think he figured it out really fast when we arrived in Rome and he was carrying four bags up and down stairs, through airports and on and off trains and busses.

A good part of one bag was pills, pain patches, a back brace and various necessities of an aging traveler. Gone are my days of back packs and duffle bags (although I did see a few brave souls my age "packing" through Italy). Give me a comfortable bed in a hotel with an elevator and bathtub. And, speaking of amenities, why is that bidets aren't the norm in this country? Does this mean we're ahead or behind the times? Pardon the pun, I just couldn't resist.

Italians as a whole aren't overweight because they walk - a lot. And walk we did, for miles through vineyards in Tuscany after wine tasting for several hours, so who cared? Not I! The Vatican Museum requires over four miles of walking and most little villages had very few cars. Speaking of cars, they were small and efficient. I didn't see one SUV or pick-up truck. Europeans are used to paying the equivalent of almost $6 a gallon for gas, so they've had years to perfect economical vehicles. Their "smart car" looks like a glorified golf cart and can park in space small enough for a motorcycle. Restaurants don't open for dinner until 7:30 and portions are adequate but not overwhelming. I'm not certain that Italians would know what to do with a Claim Jumper and McDonald's was about the only fast food place we saw. There's something definitely to be said about the Mediterranean diet and longevity.

"A good part of one bag was PILLS, PAIN PATCHES, A BACK BRACE and various necessities of an aging traveler."
I particularly liked the fact that in the smaller villages like Sorrento, most stores closed for two hours in the afternoon for lunch and rest. No wonder these people have lasted for over 2,000 years! They stroll, not race, and have a genuine appreciation for life. More importantly, Italians dress elegantly. Men and women wear suits and I didn't see one bare leg in my travels. There is a genuine respect for beauty and age. I must admit, it was a bit disconcerting when I, who have spent my life offering my seat to elders, was offered one on the bus.

Even more enlightening were the photos. Matt was determined to capture all 17 days and he did. Nine hundred and forty seven pictures later, our trip is immortalized in digital download glory.

If you're considering a trip to Italy, take my advice:

  • Wear black. The camera definitely adds pounds and when you have over 900 pictures, it's pretty depressing.
  • For photo ops, stand in front of very large buildings (like the coliseum). You'll look thinner.
  • Stay hydrated. Thank goodness - wine is cheaper than water.
  • Elastic will be your best friend.
  • Expect that your bags will be lost for a few days. Fortunately, ours were misplaced on the way home, not on the way there.
  • Don't struggle to speak the language. Many Italians speak English and are used to Americans with bad accents.
  • And, don't forget to bring your own Metamucil!
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Ann has no shame about discussing her regularity with 200,000 readers. E-mail her at ann@insidescv.com.
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