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Don't Ask Why
December, 2018 - Issue #171
Many people hold centuries-old, deeply-rooted religious beliefs that instill Christmas, Hanukah and other holidays with a profound sense of meaning. But even the most thoughtful and devout of these often have holiday traditions that just don't make sense if you start asking too many questions. Why must we hang glass balls on a tree and watch it die for a month? Why do we bake eight dozen of the gross cookies with dried cherries that no one likes? Why does Aunt Linda watch three Hallmark Christmas movies a day and cry at every single one? Why do we invite Aunt Linda? Asking why is reckless, a disaster waiting to happen. Some things work best when you focus more on the experience and less on the reasoning behind them. So this December, consider saving the whys for 2019.
Why Change Fall?
Do you remember the joy that you felt on November 4? You got to sleep in an extra hour and the mornings suddenly got sunnier. That could all be coming to an end. Proposition 7 was written to make it easier for the State Legislature to change when Daylight Saving Time occurs. As of this writing, official voting results aren't known, but the proposition's mere existence means that people are trying to make Daylight Saving Time permanent.
Even more insidious is a proposal that SCV resident Koren Young has put forward. If you'll recall, Halloween fell on a Wednesday this year, which meant festivities were restrained. Young wondered why this must be so, and he has proposed putting the holiday permanently on a weekend instead -"Halloweekend." Despite getting decent news coverage, his online petition has only attracted a few hundred signatures to date. Perhaps others realize that weekday Halloweens can be annoying, but asking why we put up with them is folly. A little inconvenience is the price of keeping traditions traditional.
Why's he Running?
Justin Gallegos grew up running in Santa Clarita, and now he races cross-country for the University of Oregon. Nike recently approached him with an endorsement contract, which sounds nice, but hardly out of the ordinary for an athletics company. What is surprising is that Gallegos has cerebral palsy, and he is the first such athlete to sign on with Nike. Video of the Hart High alum's joy and shock upon receiving the news went viral.
One of Gallegos' big goals is to run a half-marathon in under two hours, and he has already come close to that mark in the past. That's an extraordinarily long way from when he was a child who had to use a walker to get around. Gallegos has been and will likely continue to be part of Nike's efforts to improve shoe options for disabled athletes. "Why run?" would seem a natural question for someone who has to work so extraordinarily hard to do so. But Gallegos' passion and determination are answer enough - why not?
Why aren't we Anaheim?
Six Flags Magic Mountain is having its "Holiday in the Park" throughout much of December, promising colorful lights and carolers and festive decorations. It seems like the most logical option for a holiday amusement park experience, especially when you think about gas and park hopper tickets and all the other costs of going to that other place in Anaheim. But if you choose Magic Mountain, beware the chorus of whys that will follow. Your daughter will wonder why there aren't the princesses to whom she's formed unhealthful emotional attachments. Your relatives will wonder why you didn't take them to their first choice. It's really many versions of the same question: Why isn't Six Flags Disneyland?
The easiest answer is because it isn't. There's one of those already, and that's more than enough. Claritans don't seem to realize our blessing. The park is popular, but not too popular, which makes it an ideal sort of neighbor. So take the family there, and don't feel the need to explain why. Just like when people ask you to explain why you heart SCV, it's simply because you do.
This column is intended as satire and a (sometimes successful) attempt at humor. Suggestions, catty comments and veiled threats intended for the author
can be e-mailed to iheartscv@insidescv.com.
"That's an extraordinarily long way from when he was a child who had to use a walker to get around. Gallegos has been and will likely continue to be part of Nike's efforts to improve shoe options for disabled athletes."
Why Change Fall?
Do you remember the joy that you felt on November 4? You got to sleep in an extra hour and the mornings suddenly got sunnier. That could all be coming to an end. Proposition 7 was written to make it easier for the State Legislature to change when Daylight Saving Time occurs. As of this writing, official voting results aren't known, but the proposition's mere existence means that people are trying to make Daylight Saving Time permanent.
Even more insidious is a proposal that SCV resident Koren Young has put forward. If you'll recall, Halloween fell on a Wednesday this year, which meant festivities were restrained. Young wondered why this must be so, and he has proposed putting the holiday permanently on a weekend instead -"Halloweekend." Despite getting decent news coverage, his online petition has only attracted a few hundred signatures to date. Perhaps others realize that weekday Halloweens can be annoying, but asking why we put up with them is folly. A little inconvenience is the price of keeping traditions traditional.
Why's he Running?
Justin Gallegos grew up running in Santa Clarita, and now he races cross-country for the University of Oregon. Nike recently approached him with an endorsement contract, which sounds nice, but hardly out of the ordinary for an athletics company. What is surprising is that Gallegos has cerebral palsy, and he is the first such athlete to sign on with Nike. Video of the Hart High alum's joy and shock upon receiving the news went viral.
One of Gallegos' big goals is to run a half-marathon in under two hours, and he has already come close to that mark in the past. That's an extraordinarily long way from when he was a child who had to use a walker to get around. Gallegos has been and will likely continue to be part of Nike's efforts to improve shoe options for disabled athletes. "Why run?" would seem a natural question for someone who has to work so extraordinarily hard to do so. But Gallegos' passion and determination are answer enough - why not?
Why aren't we Anaheim?
Six Flags Magic Mountain is having its "Holiday in the Park" throughout much of December, promising colorful lights and carolers and festive decorations. It seems like the most logical option for a holiday amusement park experience, especially when you think about gas and park hopper tickets and all the other costs of going to that other place in Anaheim. But if you choose Magic Mountain, beware the chorus of whys that will follow. Your daughter will wonder why there aren't the princesses to whom she's formed unhealthful emotional attachments. Your relatives will wonder why you didn't take them to their first choice. It's really many versions of the same question: Why isn't Six Flags Disneyland?
The easiest answer is because it isn't. There's one of those already, and that's more than enough. Claritans don't seem to realize our blessing. The park is popular, but not too popular, which makes it an ideal sort of neighbor. So take the family there, and don't feel the need to explain why. Just like when people ask you to explain why you heart SCV, it's simply because you do.
This column is intended as satire and a (sometimes successful) attempt at humor. Suggestions, catty comments and veiled threats intended for the author
can be e-mailed to iheartscv@insidescv.com.
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